Please help i just dont no where else to turn plz :'( im going to end up duin somthing really bad without help

HI Kirsty. Never mind about the mistakes there are many people who are deemed normal in Q&A that make more mistakes than you, what matters most is your dilema. I suggest the first thing you do it take a deep breath and look at all this in perspective. Your both 17 and have your life before you that is one of the most positive things you could think about. You have had a lot of problems with his father who for some reason disagrees with you both going out together, for what reason has not been said. So the problem may not be your boyfriend, but his father who is putting pressure on him because of this relationship, I gather by him going down on one knee you are still both at school and his father may feel that you might be a threat to his education and the prospects of a good job or university when the time comes. Of course you don't like the aggressive behaviour he is betraying at the moment and you have to find a way of getting it to stop, but you are so happy when the good times are with you both and you want these feelings to continue. Kirsty, life has it's ups and downs, but no one should be treated aggressively and the whole point of two people being together is when things are not right, you have to sit down and explain what you don't like him doing. you don't know what behaviour his father is giving him and your boyfriend is split between two people in his life he loves very much. Take a little time and think how difficult it is for your boyfriend at the moment. It might be in your interest to sit down and talk to him one on one to see what is the underlying problem is. Your very brave to admit that you were a self harmer, but remember, "you were" not "you are", this will solve nothing and might even cause more damage than you intended, both physically or mentally. You say you have no where to turn. Kirsty, there are many orginisations around where you can seek help. Family guidence, school councling service, your friends and even your own family. I'm sorry you feel so down at the moment, but remember the saying, every cloud has a silver lining, so look for sunny days and your rainbow will appear. I wish you the best of luck and wish you a happy Christmas